Choices
by DarkF4s
Summary: Oneshot entry for a challenge. Raven tries to heal Beast Boy. But...


A/N: Okay, I know, I stopped working on my other stories and I haven't updated for a month now. BUT that's because I have now a girlfriend I love so much and try to spend as much time with her as I can (even if it prevents me from writing fics). But at least I'm happy. For the first time in my life. Anyway, this is my version of story for the challenge by dr.evil99. Enjoy it all of you guys, hope you'll like it.

Disclaimer: I own only my feelings for my beautiful angel, nothing else. 'Cause nothing else matters!

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_**Choices**_

There he lies on the ground. Is he sleeping? His eyes closed, breathing weaker than a whisper. Lying on his back he seems to be okay, as if he was resting. The truth, however, is different. It isn't night. The sun is still high above him. He isn't in his room. The streets and buildings around him are not his home. He isn't in his bed. The pile of rocks and rubble underneath him would probably be the least comfortable place to sleep on. But he isn't asleep. He is unconscious. And that's a major difference!

Who was the villain they were trying to stop this time? Who knows? Who cares? Does it really matter? When your see your friend lying in the puddle of his own blood what matters to you? When you see him like this, his clothes torn, bleeding wounds all over his green body…who cares about the fight anymore? Wouldn't you run to him, try to help him? Ignore the mocking laughter of the criminal behind you, forget the hatred and anger you feel towards him? What is the right choice? Vengeance? Help? Both? Or none? Millions and millions of thoughts collapse in your mind, all of them centered around a single being, like the glow around a candle in the darkest night, desperately holding on to its source of warmth and light, its creator and the only thing that sustains its existence. So what would you do? What's the right choice? Kill the criminal? You sure would want to. No quick death, rather torment him endlessly for all eternity, to make him feel at least a part of your anguish. Help your friend? Look at him! He's injured, but you might still be able to help him! You can't just let him die! Not after all you two have been through.

You're back in the tower. A majestic monument, a testament to the strength of the brave defenders of peace and justice in the city. Or is it? These…defenders. They are teens. Almost children! They have superpowers of their own (except for their leader, but he had an intensive training alongside one of the greatest heroes of these times). But they are still just teens. They feel. Their emotions are stronger than those of the adults. Even your emotions. You can feel it, can't you? That strange sensation you felt every time you looked in his emerald eyes. Can you remember it? That rush of heat and…happiness whenever you saw him. How many times did you have to hide your pale face under your hood, so that the others wouldn't see you blush? Thousands and thousands of times. And then you had to meditate for hours to regain control of your feelings. Why did you deny it for so long? It was so obvious! He was the only one who didn't notice how strange you acted when you were with him. That dumb green grass stain! Maybe he'll never know now! How couldn't he see? Why didn't he see your feelings, your signals? Your love?

He's in his bed again. Sleeping. You know you've done your job for today. Your healing powers are the only ones that'd helped him survive. These are the times you're glad you're blood is partly that of a demon. The others are in their rooms. Robin studying the latest crime reports, Starfire…relaxing (how the hell does a Tamaranian relax anyway?), and Cyborg probably in the garage, working on the T-car. All of them are trying to keep their minds off their teammate. That green shapeshifter. None of them wants to see him in this state. You're the only one with him in the room. You'd healed him as much as you could. Now it's up to him to survive. You can leave.

…

So why are you still here, in his room? He doesn't need you anymore. You know he won't wake up for a long time. At least for a week. His injuries were too bad to heal so quickly. But still you continue to gaze at him, as if you were dreaming. Are you? You love him. Don't you? You know, you can't lie to yourself. You can fool the others, but not your own heart! You love this boy. Idea! You look around the room. The door seems to be closed. It's so quiet here in the dark room. You reach out, your hand almost shaking with anticipation. Suddenly it meets something. Something soft, warm and smooth. His face. You stop for a second. Why does this feel so strange? You've touched him many times before (even hugged him, but that was rather rare), yet now it seems so…new. Because you're touching his face in a different manner. Not as a friend, but as a lover: gently, lovingly. Your fingertips run from his cheek to his lips. Your mind wanders and so does your imagination. What could it be like to kiss him? And as you visualize the scene of the kissing you start to feel an urge to do it. Though you've never kissed anyone before you want to kiss him, you want to 'taste' him. A small nervous smile appears on your face, but you ignore it. You quickly look around again. The deadly silence fills the dark space all around you. You stand up from your chair and you head moves closer to his. Your hand grabs the back of his head and…

Your powers are a constant mystery, even to you. Whenever you feel you've mastered their use, every time you feel in control they surprise you by how easily they can break free. So what's happened? You don't know. You closed your eyes, leaned close, kissed him and then…pain. Unlike any other you've felt before. Not because of the kiss (which was quite a pleasant and sweet one by the way), but because of your love for him. As always you've paid for your demonic heritage. You should know better than anyone else that your emotions need to be guarded 24/7. Even a single distraction can be fatal. Just like now. Your tried to heal him and you did. You wanted to kiss him. You did. Simple choices, choices others make every day. There are good and bad choices. But there are some choices that are neither good nor bad, or both at the same time.

Like when you killed that villain who had almost killed Beast Boy. Like the time you went into BB's room to heal him, instead of letting him recuperate on his own. Like the time you kissed him passionately and forgot to control your emotions. So what would've been the right choice?

There you lie on the ground. Are you sleeping? Your eyes closed, breathing weaker than a whisper. Lying on your back you seem to be okay, as if you were resting. You feel his hand in yours, although you know he's no longer alive. The truth is scarier than a nightmare. It isn't night. You can see the sun high above, its sunlight getting through the small cracks. You aren't in your room. As a matter of fact there's no room left, not a single wall survived your emotional outburst. You aren't in your bed. The pile of rocks and rubble underneath and on you is probably the least comfortable place to rest. But you aren't asleep. You're dying. And that's a major difference!

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A/N: Well, that's all. I know this is a difficult to understand one-shot, but I wanted to do a little balladic 'mist', so you wouldn't get all the info. For those of you who didn't understand, Raven destroyed the Titans Tower after losing her control during the kiss, killing Beast Boy (and probably the others too). So, what did you think? Bad, stupidor lame? Reviews please. 


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